14 | The Secret to a Calmer, More Productive Morning As A Mom
You know that feeling when your alarm goes off, and before your feet even hit the floor, your brain is already spinning through the to-do list? The lunches, the laundry, the lost shoes, the work deadlines—it’s like waking up in a sprint that you never signed up for. And it leaves you wondering, how can you possibly get all the things done today that you have to do as a mom.
But what if I told you the secret to a calmer, more productive morning actually starts with one specific action you take before you even wake up?
Welcome to Conquer Mom Stress—the podcast that helps you stress less and enjoy motherhood more. If you’ve ever crawled into bed at night completely exhausted, but still feel like there’s so much left to do, you are in the right place.
I’m your host, Jill Gockel—and I believe that motherhood is meant to feel joyful, not exhausting. Together, we’ll uncover what’s really fueling your stress and give you the practical tools to conquer it—so you can finally feel like the confident mom you were made to be.
Also, if you have a specific question or issue you’re stressing about, head over to jillgockel.com/ask to submit your question and who knows, you might just be featured in an upcoming episode so you can get practical, real-world solutions to the exact challenges you’re facing.
I remember when my twins were born, I was so overwhelmed with all the things - the cooking, the cleaning, I was working from home, struggling with breastfeeding & pumping, not to mention I had a preschooler and a 3 year old who had always gone to daycare but was suddenly at home with me when I quit working outside the home.
I was a mess, trying to juggle it all and failing miserably. Every morning I would wake up and tackle whatever was most pressing in the moment. Even as the twins became toddlers and two kids were in school, I would look around and see the piles of laundry, the tornado of toys on the floor, and half the time my husband would have to make dinner because even though I was at home all day I didn’t have my act together enough to be able to throw something together.
And it wasn’t that I was sitting around doing nothing! I was constantly cleaning up after someone, getting snacks for people, fitting in business in the cracks of the day. No matter how worn out I was by the end of the day, I felt like I hadn’t actually accomplished anything.
It was moments like these that I was at my lowest, feeling like I was failing as a mom, a wife, and a homemaker. I was stressed and couldn’t figure out how to do all the things. Honestly, I felt like I was drowning in it all and didn’t know how to stop the cycle.
Have you ever been there?
Unfortunately so many moms are living in this state of perpetual reaction mode and it’s taking a toll on their stress levels, their energy, and their emotional stability.
When you wake up and immediately jump into reaction mode—checking texts, answering kids’ questions, rushing through breakfast— this causes nonstop stress on you because your brain interprets that environment as potentially unsafe or unpredictable.
Your body responds by releasing the stress hormone cortisol to help your body mobilize energy and stay alert in the face of urgency.
In those first moments of reactive stress the cortisol:
* Raises blood sugar (your glucose) to give your muscles and brain quick energy;
* It increases alertness and mental focus so you can react quickly;
* It suppresses “non-essential” functions like digestion, immunity, and reproduction so that your body can channel all energy into immediate action; and
* It boosts adrenaline’s effects, keeping you on high alert.
So when you wake up and start rushing—snapping at your kids, hunting for shoes, gulping coffee—you’ve actually triggered your body’s fight-or-flight mode.
It’s your biology thinking:
“We’re under pressure. Let’s move fast.”
The problem is, your brain doesn’t distinguish between a real emergency (like a fire) and a morning full of small stressors (like spilled milk, forgotten homework, and a ringing phone).
So even though you’re just managing normal life, your body reacts as if danger is present.
That constant cortisol activation leads to:
* Energy crashes (because cortisol burns through glucose fast) so you’re left the rest of your day with no energy to do anything.
* It also leads to mood swings and irritability
* Brain fog from cortisol flooding the hippocampus (your memory and focus center)
* Decreased patience because your body’s resources are diverted away from emotional regulation
That’s why you feel frazzled before the day even begins.
And when cortisol spikes too often, it drains your energy, shortens your patience, and makes it almost impossible for you to focus. So you end up just putting out fires all day instead of actually accomplishing what matters.
It’s like trying to cook dinner while your kitchen’s on fire—you can’t focus on the recipe when everything feels like an emergency.
But the good news? You can flip that script. With one tiny shift you can get more done while actually lowering your stress, boosting your energy, and setting yourself up for emotional success.
Ben Franklin said:
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
By implementing this advice using three key principles, you’ll be empowered to take on the day confidently and all that comes with it.
We’re going to get a plan for your day. If you want to get everything done, you have to have a plan, otherwise you’re planning to fail.
Now listen, I am not talking about a to do list. Those lists are a mile long and usually heap on unrealistic expectations on yourself, which in turn increases mom stress. And when you don’t hit those impossible standards, you end up drained, exhausted, and knee deep in mom guilt.
No, what you need is a strategic plan that will set you up for success with the day. A plan that reduces the amount of stress on you and leaves you feeling like you actually accomplished something that day!
So to do this, we are going to use three key principles when creating your plan.
Key #1 is to set your intention for the day the night before.
If you want to have the energy and mental stamina to do all the things as a mom, it is imperative that you create your plan the night before, not the morning of, and as the day goes along.
Why? Because your brain runs primarily on glucose, which is the main source of fuel.
And every decision you make uses up glucose. You already have a hundred decisions to make the moment you wake up - Do I have time to wash my hair today? Did my kid brush their teeth this morning? Should I fight my toddler on wearing socks to school?
The more decisions you make, the faster your brain’s glucose is depleted and decision fatigue sets in, causing your mental battery to be half-dead before the day even begins. Your brain is already running on fumes by the time you’re halfway through your morning routine.
However, when you plan your day the night before, you remove dozens of micro-decisions from tomorrow’s mental load.
You’re giving your brain a clear path - a “default mode” to follow - so you can conserve glucose for higher-value thinking (like patience, creativity, and problem solving).
It’s like charging your mental battery overnight.
You wake up with more energy, more focus, and less stress because your brain isn’t starting from zero. And that is a surefire way to get more done in the day.
Key #2 is to determine the three most important things you need to accomplish the next day.
As a mom, there are a ton of things weighing on you to get done every day. Honestly, the burden is too much. So instead of asking yourself how you can get it all done, ask yourself, “If I can only get one thing done tomorrow, what would it have to be?”
This becomes your first item on your strategic plan, it’s the highest priority.
Then you’re going to ask yourself, “If I can only get one more thing done tomorrow and feel good about my day, what would that thing need to be?” This is your second item.
And ask yourself the question one more time to get your third item for your plan. You are prioritizing what you need to do, making sure that the things that are going to make the biggest impact and make you feel the best as a mom, you are tackling first and foremost.
As you look at these three items, begin to consider when you could get them done? Could you start a load of laundry before you take the kids to school? Could you tackle one box in the storage room after lunch? Could you prep supper in the kitchen with the kids while they work on homework?
When you plan your day the night before, you are giving a sense of order to your brain which keeps the amygdala calm. This means that you wake up with steady energy, a clear mind, and emotional bandwidth for your kids.
Once you have this done, you can jot down a few more bonus items that if you have time to and want to, you can tackle them also but they are low priority. These items are not meant to be accomplished but are meant to give you direction so that if you have the time and desire to hit a few more things after your three main priorities are done if you have the margin to do so.
And finally, key #3 to creating a strategic plan for your day is to set it before God.
Proverbs 16:3 says:
Commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed.
Mama, if you want your day to be fruitful, productive, and full of love with your children, take your plan and commit it to the Lord! Look at your list and ask God to help you tomorrow. Let him know that everything you do, you do for him and ask him to help you accomplish all you’ve set out to do tomorrow.
When you do this, God does not disappoint. Somehow he makes a way for you to accomplish everything you planned and still have time for rest and to connect with your kids. It doesn’t make sense, it’s incomprehensible, and you’ll end the day thinking that you got so much done and had some much fun with the kids, and still have energy left to spare!
This is the real secret to being able to do it all as a mom and still have enough leftover to connect with your kids. Get a plan and commit it to the Lord.
Walt Disney said,
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
Mama, creating this plan of action for the next day is your way of dreaming up what’s most important to you to accomplish in the next 24 hours. You’re giving your brain clarity on where it needs to focus, and partnering with God to give you the supernatural ability to succeed at the plans you have.
When I started using this technique, I instantly found that I could accomplish more than I ever dreamed. Just this week, I set my intention for the day: I wanted to wash & put away a load of laundry, organize a shelf in the storage room, and put out our fall decorations. My bonus item was to record another podcast episode.
I started the day strong, I got that load of laundry tossed in the washing machine before school dropoff. I came home and started tackling the storage room, and by 9:30 I had just brought all the fall decorations up to the living room.
Suddenly I got a call that I was needed for volunteering at the school. I dropped everything and headed up to the school for two hours. After I got home and ate lunch, I got the fall decor put up and decided to jump into my podcast episode. Obviously my brain had decided that was more important than putting the clean clothes away.
After school pickup, I took the time to sit with my kids and connect with them. I had planned for leftovers at supper and by the time supper was over, I already had the kitchen cleaned back up and wanted to watch a show with my kids so grabbed that load of clean clothes that was waiting for me.
Everything was put away in time for me to put the kids to bed and have a little snuggle time. I ended the day accomplishing more than I had expected was possible. I was still full of energy - physically, emotionally, and mentally, plus my tank was completely full from spending quality time with my kids.
That’s the beauty of having a strategic plan in place before your day even begins.
This is what’s possible when you make the effort to plan your day using the three keys from today:
Set your intention the night before.
Determine the three most important items you need to accomplish the next day.
And commit your plan to the Lord.
When you do this, you’ll lower your stress hormones which conserves your energy so you can do all the things as a mom.
Because when you’re not running on adrenaline, you show up calmer, more patient, and more emotionally available for your kids.
Planning ahead isn’t about perfection—it’s about peace.
It’s giving yourself the gift of a soft start to your day, instead of waking up immediately in chaos.
Thanks for joining me for this episode of Conquer Mom Stress. If today’s conversation encouraged you, hit follow and leave a review. That lets me know that these episodes are hitting the topics you need.
And while you’re there, share this podcast with another mom who might need to hear it. Your thoughtfulness might just be what she needs to get through the day.
Also if you want help with the exact challenges you’re facing as mom, head over to jillgockel.com/ask — the link will also be in the show notes — and share your biggest mom stressor. I’ll be tackling these issues in future episodes.
Remember, this is your place to pause, reset, and start conquering mom stress — one small step at a time.
Motherhood isn’t meant to drain the life out of you.
It’s meant to be lived with joy, even on the messy days.
And together, we’re gonna find that joy again.
