You know that feeling when you’re trying to find the perfect gifts for everyone — the teachers, the in-laws, the kids, the neighbors, even the dog — and suddenly Christmas doesn’t feel magical anymore?
You’re running from store to store, your Amazon cart is overflowing, your budget’s stretched thin, and your brain feels like it might short-circuit.
And even though you love giving… you end up feeling resentful, exhausted, and guilty because this is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.”
If the holidays have you feeling stretched thin, guilt-ridden, or burnt out by the endless gift-giving list, this episode is your invitation to pause, breathe, and rediscover the joy that giving is supposed to bring.
Welcome to Conquer Mom Stress—the podcast that helps you stress less and enjoy motherhood more. If you’ve ever crawled into bed at night completely exhausted, but still feel like there’s so much left to do, you are in the right place.
I’m your host, Jill Gockel—and I believe that motherhood is meant to feel joyful, not exhausting. Together, we’ll uncover what’s really fueling your stress and give you the practical tools to conquer it—so you can finally feel like the confident mom you were made to be.
Also, if you have a specific question or issue you’re stressing about, head over to jillgockel.com/ask to submit your question and who knows, you might just be featured in an upcoming episode so you can get practical, real-world solutions to the exact challenges you’re facing.
Can I let you in on a little secret? I used to dread the Christmas season. Everyone around seemed so happy while I was grinding away on all the to-dos that had to be done for the holidays.
As a mom, you know that all the gift giving, holiday baking, and activity chauffeuring lands on your shoulders. And for me, it was a nightmare.
I spent hours scrolling online, wrapping gifts late at night, labeling every present with handmade tags, and trying to make everything perfect.
As we inched up to Christmas break, I was exhausted — like, bone-deep tired.
I was short with my husband, snappy with my kids, and when my daughter asked if I’d bake cookies with her, I told her, “Not now, I have way too much to do.”
That hit me like a gut punch.
Because all those gifts and thoughtful touches were supposed to create joy — not steal it.
That night, I realized I wasn’t giving from love anymore.
I was giving from pressure.
And that, mama, is where the real stress of holiday giving comes from — not the wrapping paper or the shopping — but the weight of expectation.
Most moms carry the emotional load of the entire holiday season.
You want to make it magical for everyone — and you think that means you have to do it all.
But when giving turns into providing, performing, or people-pleasing — it drains the joy right out of the season.
Your brain can only handle so much before it switches into survival mode.
When you’re constantly comparing, planning, and second-guessing —
“What if it’s not enough?”
“What if they don’t like it?”
“What if my mother-in-law thinks I didn’t try hard enough?” —
Your stress hormone cortisol spikes.
That leads to:
* racing thoughts,
* muscle tension,
* fatigue,
* irritability (especially toward the people you’re trying to bless!).
And when your nervous system is stuck in that “go, go, go” mode for too long, your brain can’t even process joy.
That’s why even when everything goes perfectly, you still feel numb, empty, or detached.
So how do you make gift giving feel good again — without the guilt or overwhelm?
Mother Teresa once said,
“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.”
That’s the heart of today’s conversation.
Because your kids won’t remember the price tag on the gifts — they’ll remember the peace in your presence.
So there are three strategies you can put in place today to conquer holiday gift-giving stress.
Strategy #1 is to Simplify Your Giving List
Somewhere along the line, moms started feeling like they had to buy gifts for everyone — the teachers, the coaches, the coworkers, the cousins twice removed.
But here’s what happens: the longer your list, the heavier your load.
Every additional person adds mental and emotional clutter — not because you don’t care, but because your brain can only handle so many open “loops” before it gets overwhelmed.
🧠 Neuroscience calls this decision fatigue.
The more choices your brain has to make, the faster it burns through energy, focus, and patience.
So here’s your permission slip:
Shorten the list.
Focus on the few people who truly matter most to your heart.
Simplifying your giving list isn’t selfish — it’s strategic.
It releases pressure, saves time, and gives you space to be present instead of just productive.
And when that sneaky little voice starts to question what people will think when you shorten your list, realize that a gift given from pressure or guilt isn’t an act of love.
When you give from obligation, or fear of judgement, it feels heavy.
When you give from intention and love — even something small — it carries an emotional impact.
🧠 Giving with genuine intention activates the brain’s reward center, releasing dopamine — your natural feel-good chemical. That’s what makes giving joyful, not exhausting.
Strategy #2 is to Make a Written List (Not a Mental One)
Trying to keep track of gift ideas in your head isn’t a recipe for success.
Every time your brain has to remember something — who needs what, what you’ve bought, what you still need — it keeps your nervous system slightly on alert.
🧠 When your brain juggles too many mental tabs at once, cortisol levels rise. That’s your body’s stress hormone saying you’re doing too much.
But by writing everything down — even in a simple notebook, or excel, or your Notes app — you free up mental space.
You’ll instantly feel lighter because your brain knows it doesn’t have to hold everything. Suddenly the stress of forgetting to buy a gift for someone is gone. So your mind can relax.
And when your mind relaxes, your body follows.
That one small act — putting it on paper — literally signals to your nervous system, “You are safe. You’ve got this.”
And Strategy #3 is to Buy Throughout the Year
Here’s a simple truth: trying to buy all your gifts in one short holiday season sends your stress levels through the roof.
When you’re already short on time, the crowded stores, back-ordered items, last-minute sales, and financial strain, your brain shifts into high-pressure mode.
And that’s when overwhelm hits. There’s too much that you’re piling too much onto your shoulders.
🧠 Not to mention, that studies show that financial stress is one of the top triggers for anxiety during the holidays.
But when you start buying gifts throughout the year — grabbing little things when you see them you suddenly start spreading out the mental load, and financial load, that this gift giving burden can cause.
So you’ll feel calmer, more prepared, and less like you’re sprinting through December on fumes.
Spreading it out creates margin — and margin is where peace lives.
As Ann Voskamp once said,
“You don’t have to earn Christmas. You get to live it.”
When you release the pressure to do it all, you make room for peace to move in.
Listen, I’m not perfect. The years that I don’t implement these 3 strategies always end up feeling stressful and resentful. I’m seriously kicking myself for taking the lazy way out.
Because delayed pain isn’t the absence of pain, it’s simply the delaying and magnifying of it.
But the years that I use these strategies to my full advantage turns the holiday season into one that’s fun, easy, and enjoyable!
And let’s be honest, there is enough added stress during Christmastime with the busyness of holiday activities, traveling, and kids being home all day.
If you can minimize the stress from gift giving, you’ll end up with one of the most peaceful Christmases you’ll ever have.
And the kids will notice a change in how you show up.
Calm. Present. Laughing.
That’s the real magic of Christmas.
As we enter the month of December, let go of the expectations and pressure of gift giving with these 3 strategies.
Remember, strategy # 1: Simplify your giving list.
Strategy #2: Make a written gift list (not a mental one).
And strategy #3: Start buying throughout the year.
Your challenge for today is to take five minutes to write down everyone you think you need to buy for — and then gently cross off any names that aren’t truly essential.
When you feel that space open up, that’s peace moving in.
When you stop giving from pressure, you start giving from purpose.
And that gives you the energy and emotional capacity to do all the things motherhood requires — without being bogged down by the burden of gift giving.
Colossians 3:23–24
“Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as for the Lord and not for others, knowing that you will receive from the Lord the due payment of the inheritance…”
Let this remind you that your giving — your work, your love, your care — is seen.
It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to come from the heart.
Thanks for joining me for this episode of Conquer Mom Stress. If today’s conversation encouraged you, hit follow and leave a review. That lets me know that these episodes are hitting the topics you need.
And while you’re there, share this podcast with another mom who might need to hear it. Your thoughtfulness might just be what she needs to get through the day.
Also if you want help with the exact challenges you’re facing as mom, head over to jillgockel.com/ask — the link will also be in the show notes — and share your biggest mom stressor. I’ll be tackling these issues in future episodes.
Remember, this is your place to pause, reset, and start conquering mom stress — one small step at a time.
Motherhood isn’t meant to drain the life out of you.
It’s meant to be lived with joy, even on the messy days.
And together, we’re gonna find that joy again.
