Do you ever feel like the closer Christmas gets, the more your to-do list explodes?
You’re juggling shopping lists, class parties, baking cookies, family photos, travel plans — all while still trying to do your regular mom duties: cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, meal planning, and making sure everyone has clean socks.
It’s like trying to host the Olympics and run a household at the same time.
And even though it’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” it ends up feeling like the most overwhelming time of the year.
If you’re running yourself ragged trying to make everyone else’s holiday magical, this episode is for you as we talk about the invisible pressure moms carry leading up to Christmas — what it’s doing to your body, your patience, and your peace — plus how to step out of survival mode so you can actually enjoy the season again.
Welcome to Conquer Mom Stress—the podcast that helps you stress less and enjoy motherhood more. If you’ve ever crawled into bed at night completely exhausted, but still feel like there’s so much left to do, you are in the right place.
I’m your host, Jill Gockel—and I believe that motherhood is meant to feel joyful, not exhausting. Together, we’ll uncover what’s really fueling your stress and give you the practical tools to conquer it—so you can finally feel like the confident mom you were made to be.
Also, if you have a specific question or issue you’re stressing about, head over to jillgockel.com/ask to submit your question and who knows, you might just be featured in an upcoming episode so you can get practical, real-world solutions to the exact challenges you’re facing.
I don’t know about you but as much as I love the Christmas season and holiday decorations, I used to absolutely dread the month. For me, December meant that I was rushing around trying to find the perfect gift for everyone, decorate the house, wrap up the presents, attend all the holiday events, and let’s not forget the never ending pile of laundry, the grocery shopping, meals, or cleaning up after the kids.
It had become a month I dreaded because I was already stretched so thin trying to do all the things all year long, but now a million other expectations and responsibilities were piled on top. Because for a mom, your list of things to do never goes away, it just gets added to.
I remember thinking, How am I supposed to do Christmas when I can barely keep up with regular life?
And that’s when I realized something:
The holidays didn’t add joy to my life anymore — they just added more work.
And that’s not how Christmas is supposed to feel.
So let’s break down why moms feel so much pressure during the holidays — and what it’s actually doing to your body and peace of mind.
Here’s the truth:
Most moms are already functioning at full capacity before the holidays even start.
You’re managing meals, schedules, emotions, chores, and logistics.
Then December hits — and suddenly you’re also:
* Shopping for everyone,
* Wrapping, decorating, baking,
* Attending events and family gatherings,
* Managing budgets, and
* Coordinating all the moving parts.
It’s like your normal job — but on steroids.
And because moms are the emotional anchors of the family, everyone’s happiness starts to feel like your responsibility.
🧠 Here’s what’s happening inside your brain and body:
When your mind senses too many demands and not enough time, it activates your stress response system.
Your body releases cortisol and adrenaline, preparing you to fight or flee.
But since you can’t run away from Christmas, you just keep pushing through.
And over time, that leads to:
* Tight shoulders and jaw tension;
* Fatigue that coffee can’t fix;
* Snapping at your kids or spouse;
* Brain fog; and
* Emotional numbness
Basically, your body starts running on fumes.
And when your stress system is constantly “on,” your brain can’t fully register joy or gratitude — even when good things happen.
That’s why so many moms say that they just want to feel present, but can’t seem to slow down. They can’t turn it off.
So how do you get out of the Christmas pressure cooker and actually enjoy the season — without feeling like everything’s gonna fall apart if you slow down?
Max Lucado said:
“The arrival of Christ — the moment that split history — was simple. A barn, a manger, a mother, and a father. Nothing fancy, nothing perfect. Just peace.”
If Jesus’s birth didn’t need perfection, and it didn’t need be or stuffed to the brim with activities, then neither does your holiday season.
Here are 3 simple strategies to let go of the holiday pressure and reclaim your peace:
Strategy #1 is to Drop the “Perfect Holiday” Script
You don’t need matching pajamas, handcrafted cookies, or an Instagram-worthy home to make Christmas meaningful. And striving after that adds more stress to your already full load.
🧠 Psychologists note that this stress comes from something called the expectation gap — the difference between what you imagine and what’s real. The wider that gap, the more stress you feel.
When you let go of the fantasy version of Christmas and make space for the real version — the one filled with imperfect moments, messy houses, and genuine laughter - it fills you with a sense of relief. You’re actively taking the pressure off of having a perfect holiday and leaning into simply being present this holiday, mess and all.
Think about the pressure to bake homemade cookies and candy. Honestly, your kids won’t remember if the cookie dough was store-bought or homemade. What they’ll remember is how it felt to laugh with you while baking them.
Seriously, my kids love the store bought sugar cookies that you just separate and put on a baking sheet. And this is one of their favorite traditions.
And when I stopped looking around at what everyone else was doing and comparing myself to them, I found that I no longer looked down on my lack of homemade cookies and took joy in the memories that I was making with my kids, stress free.
Strategy #2 is to Simplify Your Obligations
Before December begins, make a list of everything on your plate — every event, every party, every “we should probably” tradition.
And then ask yourself:
“Which of these brings me or my family true joy — and which ones are just draining us?”
You don’t have to do everything.
It’s okay to say no to some traditions to protect your peace.
When you remove the extras, you create room for meaning.
Remember, every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else. And sometimes what you’re saying “no” to is your own peace and joy during the holiday season.
When you slow down enough to be with your family instead of doing all the things, everything shifts.
🧠 Research shows that shared experiences — like laughing together, baking, or praying — releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone that lowers stress and boosts happiness.
So this year, instead of aiming for doing it all, aim for doing what matters most. Your peace and presence is the gift your family needs most.
And Strategy #3 is to Involve Your Kids In Carrying the Load
Listen, you don’t have to be the Christmas hero. You don’t have to do it all yourself.
But instead of delegating this time, which can incite guilt during the holiday season, invite your kids to join you, doing the tasks WITH you.
Have a gift wrapping party together. Your kids will love it. Those presents may not look perfect but you’ll make some great memories together. Even a two year old can put tape on a package while you hold on to the wrapping paper.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked my oldest if he wanted to do something like wrapping presents and he wasn’t interested until I said that I would be doing it with them. And suddenly he was all in!
Inviting your kids to help isn’t just practical — it also brings you together as a family. Chores that used to be dreaded will instantly become enjoyable because they’re getting quality time with you and honestly, that’s what kids crave the most.
🧠 Plus when you share tasks, your brain shifts from survival mode to support mode, lowering stress hormones and helping you feel calmer.
Bob Hope said,
His idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, was very simple: loving others.
When you reframe your holidays to focus on creating space to love your family, you’ll feel your stress levels go down and your sense of peace go up.
That quote reminds us that when you make quality time with your kids a priority, it brings them into your life, all aspects of it — the fun mom playing a game, the homemaker putting laundry away, the chef preparing a meal.
Let your kids experience all aspects of you, not just as a spectator watching you do all the work, but as an immersed part of your life, joining in the tasks with you.
The presents may look like a wreck but they’ll be so proud of the effort they put into it and the fun memories they made with you.
A few years ago I decided to drop the perfect holiday script. I let go of the pressure that to be a good mom meant I had to make homemade crafts and decorate homemade cookies in our already packed schedule.
In the past I held so much stress and resentment over feeling like I had to do all the things to make our Christmas look perfect but instead it led to me being impatient, snapping, and complaining the entire time.
When I let go of the perfect script, I felt free to do the things that fit my family. Instead of homemade crafts, we wrapped presents together. Instead of homemade cookie decorating, we baked store bought cookie dough that didn’t need any icing added. And instead of Christmas caroling, we smuggled on the couch with popcorn and a movie.
It may not be a Hallmark-style Christmas but I can assure you, your kids would rather have a happy, smiling mom than a dozen homemade gingerbread cookies.
As you move into the busyness of December, remember these three strategies to conquer stress and enjoy your holiday season:
Strategy #1: Drop the “Perfect Holiday” script.
Strategy #2: Simplify your obligations.
And Strategy #3: Involve your kids in carrying the load.
Here’s your challenge today.
Look at your list of to-dos and decide what is one task you can do WITH your kids. Set a date, pop some popcorn (unless you’re cleaning the bathrooms together), and turn on that holiday playlist.
Because when you plan for presence instead of perfection, you inevitably protect your peace & your family’s peace too.
And when you’re not burned out by Christmas, you have the energy, patience, and joy to do all the things motherhood asks of you — without losing yourself in the process.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
Instead of falling into the season of busyness, let Christmas be the season for slowing down and enjoying what truly matters, your family.
Thanks for joining me for this episode of Conquer Mom Stress. If today’s conversation encouraged you, hit follow and leave a review. That lets me know that these episodes are hitting the topics you need.
And while you’re there, share this podcast with another mom who might need to hear it. Your thoughtfulness might just be what she needs to get through the day.
Also if you want help with the exact challenges you’re facing as mom, head over to jillgockel.com/ask — the link will also be in the show notes — and share your biggest mom stressor. I’ll be tackling these issues in future episodes.
Remember, this is your place to pause, reset, and start conquering mom stress — one small step at a time.
Motherhood isn’t meant to drain the life out of you.
It’s meant to be lived with joy, even on the messy days.
And together, we’re gonna find that joy again.
