You know that feeling when the holidays hit, and suddenly… your entire routine goes out the window? The kids are home from school, the house is loud all day, meals are all over the place, and you start to feel like you can’t keep up with anything?
Yeah… I’ve been there too & have learned that things don’t have to be that way.
Today we’re tackling one of the biggest triggers for moms during the holidays—when your daily routine gets totally thrown off and you feel like you’re living in survival mode all over again.
Welcome to Conquer Mom Stress—the podcast that helps you stress less and enjoy motherhood more. If you’ve ever crawled into bed at night completely exhausted, but still feel like there’s so much left to do, you are in the right place.
I’m your host, Jill Gockel—and I believe that motherhood is meant to feel joyful, not exhausting. Together, we’ll uncover what’s really fueling your stress and give you the practical tools to conquer it—so you can finally feel like the confident mom you were made to be.
Also, if you have a specific question or issue you’re stressing about, head over to jillgockel.com/ask to submit your question and who knows, you might just be featured in an upcoming episode so you can get practical, real-world solutions to the exact challenges you’re facing.
One Christmas break, I remember waking up and realizing I had no idea what day it was. My breakfast was cold before I even got to eat it, the kids were watching cartoons in their pajamas at 10 a.m., and my living room looked like an explosion had gone off.
And honestly? I wasn’t mad about the mess—it was the lack of rhythm that was getting to me. My days had lost all structure, and I felt like I was constantly reacting instead of leading.
That’s when I realized… I wasn’t overwhelmed because of the holidays. I was overwhelmed because my routine had disappeared—and without it, I felt completely unanchored.
If you’ve ever felt that way—like your energy and patience start slipping the moment the school schedule stops—this episode is for you.
Here’s what’s really happening: when your normal routine disappears, your brain loses its sense of predictability. And that loss of predictability means that you suddenly have to make a ton of decisions all throughout your day.
This leads to what psychologists call “decision fatigue.”
Every day, you make hundreds of small decisions automatically because of your habits—like when you wake up, what time you eat, when you clean up, or even when you take a breath for yourself.
When the holidays hit and that routine vanishes, your brain has to re-decide everything—and that’s exhausting.
And when you’re tired and overstimulated? Your patience with your kids drops, your mood dips, your body tenses up, and your cortisol—the stress hormone—starts climbing.
So no, you’re not just “bad at handling the holidays.” You’re human.
But here’s the good news—you don’t have to choose between keeping your sanity and enjoying the season. You can keep your daily rhythm and embrace the holiday fun. It just looks a little different.
There’s a quote I love that says,
“Structure doesn’t limit freedom—it creates it.”
That’s exactly what we’re talking about today. Because one thing that I've noticed is that when you let your routines fall through the wayside, you just want to give yourself a break, but the reality is that break ends up breaking you.
So here are three strategies to keep your daily routine during the holidays while still feeling like you're giving yourself a break from all the demands of motherhood
Strategy 1 is to Keep Your Anchor Points
Instead of trying to stick to a full schedule, focus on anchor points—those few daily habits that ground you no matter what.
That might be your morning coffee before anyone else wakes up, starting a load of laundry after breakfast, or a 10-minute evening tidy-up.
When everything else feels unpredictable, your anchor points remind your body and mind: I’m still in rhythm.
Research shows that predictable routines lower cortisol and help regulate mood—especially moms who are carrying the family’s emotional load.
And here’s an awesome tip for you. When you pair your anchors with a reward, you also increase your likelihood of sticking with it. So for example, your coffee can be a reward for you getting dressed for the day and your makeup done. That means you don't get to drink that cup of coffee until you're fully dressed from head to toe, ready to walk out the door, even if you're not going anywhere.
Another reward is lighting a scented candle for cleaning the kitchen after breakfast.
And letting your kids watch a movie. Is their reward for getting the living room picked up.
Remember that with kids, more is caught than taught, so by you leading by example, giving yourself rewards for sticking with those tiny daily habits, those daily anchors. Your kids are going to see that and start modeling after it.
Strategy 2 is to Plan a “Loose Structure” for the Day
Kids thrive on rhythm too. During holiday breaks, you don’t need a strict schedule—but you do need flow so they know what to expect.
Try creating a simple “daily rhythm chart”:
Morning equals breakfast and free play. Afternoon equals lunch and one planned activity like baking, visiting family, doing crafts. And evening is supper plus screen time or relaxed family time.
Having a loose structure keeps everyone’s expectations clear and prevents the chaos that leads to meltdowns for them and you.
But it also helps curb the continual pestering of, “Can I watch TV?”, “Can I get on the iPad?” because you have a predictable routine in place. The TV is after supper.
I've used this so many times with my three year old. Every morning she wakes up and she says, I want to watch a movie. And every day I tell her, we never have TV on in the morning. Why are you asking this? TV is for after lunch, which for her, means after nap time.
And by sticking with this daily rhythm, she no longer argues about it or throws a fit. She just continues to ask each day, just in case, mom's feeling weak, but then doesn't balk at it, because she knows that's the structure for the day.
And Strategy 3 is to Protect Quiet Time (for You and the Kids)
Even though it’s Christmas break time, everyone still needs space to recharge.
Create a “quiet hour” in your day—no screen times, no noise, just calm activities like reading, coloring, or listening to music.
And while your kids may complain at first, you’ll soon find that they love this.
Quiet time lowers overstimulation and gives you and your kids nervous systems a chance to reset—so you can show up as the patient, calm mom you want to be.
When I first started using this strategy, my kids were so lost. But it was really neat because over time they began to love this time.
It used their creative juices, it got them focusing on each other, and playing together kindly.
Even my 14 year old, who loves being on screens, he now will use that time to go out and explore the outdoors. He'll build with Legos. He'll interact with his younger siblings. And that's the kind of activity that makes you feel like a good mom.
Rick Warren said:
“Peace with God, peace with others, and peace in your own heart.”
Mama, peace begins in your heart first—through rhythms, grace, and quiet time.
When you're a mom, you're trying to be everything for everyone. You're trying to do everything for everyone. And at times where your daily rhythm gets messed up, for times like an extended break from school, you can find yourself floundering.
But when you use these three strategies, it is simple ways that help you ground yourself again. It guarantees that you're getting the most important thing done each day to help you end the day feeling accomplished yet still rejuvenated.
Our Christmas break used to be a chaotic mess that caused so much stress and mom guilt because I felt like I wasn't getting anything done. It was just a wasted day.
But eventually I learned how to set up a simple rhythm to our day.
I woke up early for my morning tea and reading, so that I felt ready to interact with others.
We had a family breakfast together so that we were already having the bonding time first and foremost that day.
We played together. After lunch everyone did their own quiet activity, so I got to recharge myself. And then if the toy mess was cleaned back up, everyone could enjoy some screen time.
And you know what happened?
The kids were still in pjs at 5:00, they still got loud and made a huge mess with toys—but I stayed calm.
Because even when life got noisy, this daily routine gave me peace.
With school getting ready for Christmas break, set yourself up for a peaceful holiday using the three strategies from today:
Strategy #1: Keep your anchor points and pair it with a reward.
Strategy #2: Create a loose structure for the day.
And Strategy #3: Protect quiet time.
As we close out today, here’s your action step:
Decide on your anchor points for the week. Write down 2–3 daily habits that will make the biggest impact on keeping you grounded while the kids are home for the holidays.
Proverbs 13:4 says,
“A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.”
When you are diligent with maintaining a routine, even during the chaos of the holidays, your desire for peace and joy will be satisfied.
And that mama, is how you truly begin to feel like the good mom you already are.
Thanks for joining me for this episode of Conquer Mom Stress. If today’s conversation encouraged you, hit follow and leave a review. That lets me know that these episodes are hitting the topics you need.
And while you’re there, share this podcast with another mom who might need to hear it. Your thoughtfulness might just be what she needs to get through the day.
Also if you want help with the exact challenges you’re facing as mom, head over to jillgockel.com/ask — the link will also be in the show notes — and share your biggest mom stressor. I’ll be tackling these issues in future episodes.
Remember, this is your place to pause, reset, and start conquering mom stress — one small step at a time.
Motherhood isn’t meant to drain the life out of you.
It’s meant to be lived with joy, even on the messy days.
And together, we’re gonna find that joy again.
