Why Moms Can’t Stick to a Routine (It’s Not Your Fault)

mom stress mom tips routines Feb 03, 2026

Have you ever told yourself, “If I could just make a routine and stick to it, I’d finally feel like a good mom”—only to fall off a few days later and spiral into negative self talk?

You’re not alone.

So many moms come into the new year determined to set goals, build a daily routine, and finally feel on top of all the things. But instead of relief, routines often trigger more anxiety and stress, more self criticism, and that heavy feeling of “I feel like a failure as a mom.”

In Episode 25 of the Conquer Mom Stress podcast, Jill Gockel breaks down why routines feel so hard for an exhausted mom—and how to finally create one that supports your nervous system instead of sabotaging it.

This post will give you a sneak peek into what’s really going on beneath the surface—and why learning how to create a routine isn’t about discipline… it’s about compassion.👉 Listen to the full episode here.

The Hidden Reason Moms Struggle to Stick to a Routine

If you’ve ever wondered how to stick to a routine, you’ve probably blamed yourself.

Maybe you’ve thought:

“Why can’t I follow through?”
“Other moms are doing it all—why can’t I?”
“What’s wrong with me?”

But here’s the truth Jill shares on the podcast:

Your struggle has nothing to do with motivation—and everything to do with your brain.

When you’re being a mom who’s already stretched thin, managing kids, home, faith, relationships, and getting things done, your brain is operating under chronic stress. Trying to layer a new routine on top of that feels like more demand—not support.

That’s where self sabotage creeps in.

Your brain isn’t trying to ruin your progress. It’s trying to find stress relief.

And when stress is high, old habits feel safer than new ones.

Why Routines Can Increase Mom Stress (Instead of Reducing It)

Many moms believe routines are the key to feeling calmer—but without the right foundation, routines can actually increase mom stress, mom guilt, and even mom burnout.

Here’s why:

Your brain runs on autopilot
Change requires energy
Exhaustion lowers emotional regulation

So when a routine feels rigid, meaningless, or disconnected from your values, your nervous system resists it. That resistance fuels:

Negative self talk
Self criticism
Feeling like you’re failing at how to be a good mom

And the pressure to “do it right” only adds more stress to an already overwhelmed system.

The Shift That Changes Everything: Routines Rooted in Values

In Episode 25 of the Conquer Mom Stress podcast, Jill explains that the key to sticking to a routine isn’t willpower—it’s purpose.

When you know why you’re creating a routine, your brain stops fighting you.

A routine tied to values helps you:

Reduce anxiety and stress
Feel less scattered and overwhelmed
Stop fighting yourself every day
Actually find joy in your routine

Instead of asking, “What should my routine look like?”

The better question is:

“What do I want this routine to give me?”

Peace?

Connection?

Less chaos?

More patience?

When your routine supports your identity—not your insecurity—it becomes easier to stick to a routine without shame.

Why Small Habits Matter More Than Big Plans

One of the most freeing truths shared on the Conquer Mom Stress podcast is this:

You don’t need a perfect routine.

You need a sustainable one.

For a mom juggling doing it all, tiny habits work better than massive overhauls. Small actions reduce resistance and help your brain build trust.

This is especially important if you’re an exhausted mom who’s already operating on empty.

Small habits:

Lower stress
Reduce overwhelm
Create momentum
Protect your emotional energy

That’s where real change begins.

Routines Are Not a Self Worth Test as a Mom

This might be the most important reminder from Episode 25:

A routine is not a measure of your value.

It’s a support system for your nervous system.

You are already a good mom—even on the days your routine falls apart.

When routines are rooted in grace instead of pressure, they help you:

Feel less behind
Reduce mom guilt
Quiet negative self talk
Replace self criticism with compassion

That’s when routines stop feeling like another thing to fail at—and start feeling like an act of care.

Listen to the Full Episode: Conquer Mom Stress – Episode 25

If you’ve ever struggled with:

How to create a routine
How to stick to a routine
New year resolutions that don’t last
Feeling overwhelmed by all the things
Chronic stress and burnout
Feeling like you’re failing at motherhood

This episode will feel like a deep exhale.

🎧 Listen now to Episode 25 of the Conquer Mom Stress podcast with Jill Gockel to learn how to create a routine that lowers stress, supports your brain, and helps you show up as the mom you want to be—without shame.